Today I have a very nice thing to tell you all. As you know, I have been feeling much better over these past several weeks. The IBS had calmed down considerably and the constant and debilitating pain I lived with for so long has greatly subsided. I attribute this only to the mercy and healing power of God.

As you well have known, in years past, not much laundry, de-cluttering or deep-cleaning got done on a regular basis in my house. Yes.. we did laundry. Yes, we cleaned. And yes, we threw things away. But every job I did was punctuated with pain and almost always cut too short to produce the desired effect.

Well, (forgive this boring sentence) this life without pain thing is a blast! I am doing more than I can ever remember doing, because the last time I felt this well I had small children and my time was spent singing the alphabet and filling sippy cups. Now I’m 48. (Oh my!)

Fast forward to this morning. David went off to an all day meeting. I stayed home. So began the day that will live on in history as my most productive day ever! I cleaned, and straightened, sorted, labeled, and laundered for 11 hours. It seemed that everything I laid my eyes on was dirty. I couldn’t stop! Harvest season here in the valley will make ceiling fan blades fuzzy in 3 weeks! I used almost an entire bottle of ammonia today! (unfathomable!)

Now its late in the evening and I can’t turn off. I should be so happy and satisfied... and yet.. no. Now I’m thinking about the laundry room shelves that could use cleaning and the grocery list that didn’t get written for tomorrow. “We’ll be having family over for Labor Day... what should I serve??? And my desk... it still has all these bills. ”

Know when I’ll really be happy? Tomorrow morning when I look around and see the shiny cabinets, and floors. And then on Saturday I’ll think about the jobs I usually fight to get done just before communion Sunday...and I’ll smile. Maybe I won’t smile. Maybe I won't appreciate the moment and foolishly rush on to something else that needs doing.. (must be the ‘catching-up’ stage)

Elizabeth Elliot once said that some days, you smile and the world smiles back. Orderly.
Contented. Pain, unfortunately, produces chaos. On every level. It alienates us from the things in life that seem so normal to everyone else. It alienates us from who we want to be...I wonder if my discontent has more to do with having been so discouraged by my inability to keep on top things. The deep shame that comes from having your friends come over and see your laundry stacked as high as a short person. I really love clean. I love smelling clean.(not so much in my car of course...) Maybe I secretly worry that I’ll wake up and go back to the way I used to be. I want this freedom to last...until I fall over from exhaustion! And sleep only until my brain wakes up with more ideas! But life here on earth is about living one small day at a time. We do small things. We set small goals. And we get tired. It’s all about God and what he has to show about Himself. (not about me and the kind of life I want)

Maybe someday my house will smile back at me. Right now It’s sort of smirking. But I’ll take it!